Nigerian-American professor, Uju Anya, has spoken openly and candidly about her past marriage, sexuality, and the deeply personal experiences that have shaped her life, firmly insisting that her marriage to her ex-husband was real, intentional, and rooted in genuine love and commitment at the time.
Speaking during an interview on With Chude, Dr Anya reflected on her upbringing, revealing that her childhood was shaped by growing up in a deeply troubled and emotionally unstable home.
According to her, her father was a womaniser who was physically abusive, emotionally distant, and often publicly humiliating towards her mother, experiences that left lasting emotional scars on her and influenced her understanding of relationships.
She recounted that when she was just 10 years old, her mother eventually left the marriage, a moment she described as both painful and formative, leaving her feeling emotionally wounded and starved of love for many years afterward.
Dr Anya explained that these early life experiences played a major role in shaping her worldview and personal beliefs. After relocating to the United States, she embraced feminism and later became an atheist, a position she said she has maintained consistently for decades.
Uju Anya speaks on marriage to husband
Despite identifying as bisexual, Dr Anya said she genuinely fell in love with a man and chose to marry him, emphasizing that the union was not a “fake marriage,” social cover, or performance for public approval.
She explained that she was emotionally invested, physically attracted to him, and fully committed to the relationship at the time, believing it represented a chance at what she described as a “normal life.”
“When I met my ex-husband, I liked him. He was hot, he could dance, he was funny. I felt sexual attraction, and I held on to him tightly because this felt like my passport to a normal life,” she said.
According to her, the marriage was both emotionally real and sexually fulfilling in its early years. However, over time, she came to the realization that her attraction to women was significantly stronger than her attraction to men.
About ten years into the marriage, Dr Anya disclosed to her husband that she needed to be with women as well, a conversation she described as honest but difficult.
She revealed that the couple mutually agreed to open the marriage, allowing both of them to date other people, including other women in her case and other women in his case, in an effort to keep the marriage alive.
“That held me maybe another four years,” she said, noting that while the arrangement delayed the inevitable, it did not ultimately save the marriage.
End of her marriage to husband
Dr Anya stated that a major turning point came when she attended a Nigerian lesbian wedding in New York, an experience she described as deeply emotional and clarifying.
“My marriage was over at that point. I knew this was my future. I needed to go,” she said, explaining that the event helped her fully accept her identity and the life she truly wanted.
She also addressed the frequent criticism she faces online, particularly being labelled a “man-hater.” Dr Anya dismissed the claim, explaining that while she has experienced real attraction to men, she has always loved women more.
The professor further spoke about the intense backlash she has faced in recent years, including death threats, following her public criticism of the late Queen Elizabeth and her comments referencing the suffering of Biafrans.
According to her, the situation escalated to the point where she had to involve law enforcement agencies, including the police and the FBI, and the ordeal took a significant toll on her mental and emotional wellbeing.
In 2024, Dr Anya married her long-term partner, Dr Syria Lang. She described her partner as her dream woman and said their union went beyond marriage, as they also successfully blended their families into one household.
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